Will You Just Let Me Be!

For each step I take 
I will think of you
after all your just the dirt
grinding up in my shoe.

How much I hate you now
for all the things you done
for you could never know
because I hate you a ton.

You make my heart bleed
every time I see your face
and my fist tighten
when I think of this waste.

Rage fills my soul
every time I hear your name
anger fills my mind
knowing nothing can be the same.

I'm still building back up 
after you tore off all ties
but I tell you it is for the better
because I'm sick of your stupid lies.

Pity yourself all you want
I don't care anymore
but I tell you time heals all wounds
and complaining is becoming a bore.

Your not fooling anyone 
when you come to school with your stupid smile
we all can see you're faking
because time takes awhile.

Why do you expect everyone
to look at you as they walk by
your know different then anyone
this is something you don't understand why.

I am not stupid
so quit and leave me alone
quit calling me a stupid b**ch
and live your life on your own.

You are no part of me
your the one that broke all ties
I don't give a damn anymore
I'm sick of you keep saying your goodbyes.

Give up already
because you're really getting me pissed
I don't care what you think of me
so would you learn to let me be.

Stop calling me a b**ch behind my back
your just mad because I now don't want to be your friend
I didn't want to give up but you gave me no choice
so now I gave "the queen her highness" the end.

I'm sick of you
you hurt me more then you think I hurt you
stop blaming me for what has happened
because I'm sick of feeling this pain by the things you say and do.

Why do you even care
can't you just ignore
after all your the one that can't forgive
this is really becoming a bore.

Come up with something new
after all it will just be another lie
but at least you will have something else to do
besides always saying goodbye.

Blah blah
I don't care
will you please just end this now
because I'm sick of you saying I wasn't there.

Stop taking things out on me
this is something you could never see
its the truth though I tell you
so will you just let me be!!

i hate the way ..................

I hate the way you make me cry I hate the way you make me smile I hate the way you look at me I really hate the way you smile I hate the way you like to be quiet I hate the way you talked to me I hate the way you held my hand I hate the way you promised me your heart I hate the way you left and took your heart and mine as well I hate the way I make you cry I hate the way I make you smile I hate the way I look at you I hate the way you smile I hate the way I keep you quiet I hate the way I talked to you I hate the way I held your hand I hate the way I promised you my heart I hate the way I pushed you away I really hate the way I LOVE YOU so much i really really really Hate the way I LOVE YOU

Am I Jealous..???

I have feelings for you its true
Though we both agree
They will never be love

We travel our separate paths
Meeting when we feel a need
So why does your seeking of others
Create this confusion in me
Am I jealous

This relationship has no ground rules
That can be applied in our situation
We don't have a need for trust
Who you see when its not me
Should not bother me
But it does
Am I jealous

Maybe its not jealousy
But more the feeling of impending loss
For soon you will find someone
And then you wont need me again
Someone new will hold you tight
And our paths will no longer cross. 

love someone who love you is the best way...

i'm bored

  I'm bored to death
Can that be even true
Well, I am still alive
I need something to do

I gotta find some intrest
But I don't know what
I can't think of anything
My mind's door is shut 

16th august 2000 - feeling so lost

Feeling so lost and all alone
I want to bury all the memories
Leave no trace that you ever existed
Maybe then I could sleep at night
Maybe then my eyes will be free…
From all the tears
Don’t want to have to drag this pain with me
Everywhere I go …
I want to be normal again
But everywhere I look is a reminder of you
Of us, of everything we shared.
Why can’t I let you go?
Let your spirit rein
Why cant I smile in reminisce
The scar is too deep
And the emptiness makes me cold
I to feel like I have gone…
Into another world
A world where happiness
Is an obstacle
Laughter a challenge
And complete is almost impossible…
If only I could go on without the thought of you…
Maybe then ill feel what peace is like again!

I always fall for the wrong guy , and keep getting heart broken in the end...

Here I go doing the same mistake...
What’s happening to me for god sake...
It’s so worthless, falling in love again..,
With a person I just met then...
Trying to convince my self that it’s just a flare
For sure not, it’s something I totally can’t bare...
Why him out of all men??
He always makes me laugh and blush,
Uhh!!  get over it girl its just a crush...
Friends told me not to fall,
It’s nothing but a wakeup call
He made me love him so deep
Its a good memory I will always keep..
We're two different climates, no chemistry at all
He doesn’t even answer any of phone calls
No more weakening in the legs when I see you
Backing off is something am planning to do!
You have a life and career to look up to girl...!!
Don’t let this flare give it away..
"It’s a priceless piece of an advice


He didn’t love me as much as I did...so am backing off with my pride.....head up high..

grieving with someone close....

excited sgt blik mitec... blik sini dg azam yg baru..

ni dok pening pk nak add subject.. smpi2 jea mitec ari ahad ari tu mai trus dtg bilik melepaskan rindu dia kat aku

dia x tau aku pown rindu kat dia,amira, fify,edy, aiesah dan ramai lagi..

bila dok mlm2 ni nak update blog x tau kenapa aku jd rindu kat seorg kawan aku ni.. kami dlu rapat..

masa dah lama berlalu dia pown dah x perlukan aku dalam hidup dia.. aku harap dia bahagia dgn idup baru dia..

walau ape pown aku sentiasa igt kenangan manis aku dgn dia.. kami x bergaduh tapi aku yg membawa diri.. 

aku rasa aku yg buat dia hidup dalam kepura-puraan.... kesian kat dia  terpaksa berlakon utk terima aku sebagai kwn padahal dia x lh nak terima aku...

seriously mmg rindu saat berkwn baik dgn dia... 

kadang2 bila teringgat kat kwn lama ni aku menangis sendirian byk sgt kenangan yg kami lalui sesme....

walapun kite dah x berkwn akak doakan awk sentiasa gembira & bahagia disisi org yg berada di sekeliling awk...*****!....

Over For Now

We cannot hold on to our love much longer
For this break has made me stronger
You still hold a special place in my heart
And if ever, you change your mind
I will always be waiting for you
I try to hide my pain
Behind this fake painted smile
No one can see past it
Except for you and your friendship
I must accept it
Friends are all we are going to be
For now, we'll see
But if it's meant to be
God will take care of everything
It's not in our hands anymore
He will make the final call
If we are meant to be
He will be the one to choose
He will lead us back to each other
I pray and I hope
We are meant to be.
Because I can't live without you
You are the one for me. 

salam hye..
minggu ni minggu paling busy sekali..
assignment, quiz ,test sume nak kena siap kan... stress tahap melampau dgn kafe x bukak waktu malam
terpaksa kirim kat kawan mkn.. itu pown kalo ade org nak kuar..
rindu kat family and friends. nni tgh sibuk wat airport management individual assignment x siap2 lagi,
tgh carik sape stakeholder utk NDIA. x jumpa lagi.. Mog x buat lagi nasib la adik aku sorg ni banyak membantu
kalo x de dia pening aku.. airport assignment grouping in progress...
mingg ni aku terjumpa kawan kelas aku dia dtg melawat kami yg amik short course ni.... dia kata ni mungkin last kite jumpa..aku jd cuak.. bila dok findout knape rupa2nya dia dah lost hope utk belajar lagi..di sebb kan result dia sem lepas down to drain.. aku x paham kenapa manusia cepat mengalah.. kenapa perlu salah kan takdir kalo diri sendiri x penah cuba utk berusaha.. aku ni umur dah 27 thn tp masih lagi ade semangat nak further study.. aku x nak org kata aku ni buat kerja separuh jalan..aku ade terpikir nak bantu kawan aku tu utk terus berusaha.. tapi aku x tau nak kata ape pada org yg cepat putus asa.. aku harap dia sedar sblum dia menyesal dgn keputusan dia...
kebanyakan org islam ni mudah lupa dgn kejadian diri nya.. lupa yg Allah swt yg menciptanya.. senang nak menyalahkan takdir.. tanpa berfikir panjang terus jea nak salah kan takdir mengucap la wahai kawanku.. mengucap... semoga kau menjadi org islam yg sentiasa bersyukur dgn pemberian Allah swt...

Something that i hate about myself...

I am nowhere near perfect
I eat when i am bored
I fall for boys easily
I'm vulnerable to believing lies
I'm hoping that one day I won't need a fake smile
I make up excuses for everything
I have best friend and enemies
I have drama and memories and that's life
LIVE IT, LOVE IT....LEARN FROM IT..

Where I Stand

I feel trapped in an infinite and bitter cold,
Imprisoned by the pain and lies you've told.
You asked me to forgive you for all that you've done,
But this is the web of betrayal you have spun.



This has taken much time and its breaking my heart,
And Ive concluded were best off apart.
But before i say good-bye and let go,
There are a few things that I want you to know.



I forgive you for all that you've done,
For wrecking my life and stabbing my heart.
For your ill thought and premature misconceptions,
And your abusiveness,rage and crazed obsession.


I do wish you luck and love with someone else,
but before this i hope you once find yourself.

~ shiegin tazli~

salam dah lama tak update blog ni..
entah la x tau nak start dari mana.. dah lame tak update blog ni.. hhaha wa cite mcm ramai lak follower aku...
owh yea... aku dah habis final exam ni tgh menghitung hari nak balik shah alam..
tapi 14 & 15 ni aku ade event kat Nur Laman Bestari kat Ulu Yam....
x sbr la nak pg event ni sekali dgn dak bilik aku..sape lg edy , amira & aiesah la...
lepas tu cuti seminggu .. 23 ari bln kna bali MITEC dah coz aku amik short course....
ni sekarang ni aku ade kat Mc D Seri Alam, dok teman anam study..hahaah kesian dia sok ade paper
aku dah merdeka....!! yeay!

sport's day UNIKL MITEC

ari ni best gak lepas balik dari klinik penawar td terus jea pg tengok roomates ade netball match..konon nak bg support kat diaorg lagi2 si tod ni bising suoh aku pg bg support kat dia...padahal aku umah hijau ..tods umah biru..last 2 netball umah hijau kalah... biru menang.. mmg terkejut tgk tods main netball td gler lincah... dasyhat gak tods ni.. amira maen pown boleh thn siap tergolek2..hahahha

pas game aku ,aeisah,amira & tods pegi bg support kat bebudak lelaki yg maen futsal..hahha tp x tgk pown dok sibuk amik gambar kat tiang berhenti..jap lagi aku upload pic tu.. ape2 pown mlm ni mmg kenangan yg best walaupown aku tgh demam...

tods & amira

tods & amira

aeisah & me

exhausted!

jadual harian sgt pack x de rehat lgsg.. ni baru rasa lega skit baru pas submit assignment transport.. 

ni dok wat business plan plak... adoi penat.. petang ni opening utk sports day...mcm ne plak leh jd ajk pown aku x tau...kata ajk tp mcm kuli jea kejenya...waaaa... adoi ni nak kena turun maen volleyball utk umah hijau (dol said).. go hijau!

hari keluar...!!

 ni pic aku & roomate aku yg terbaek..!

ni pic roomates & neighbour bilik kami aiesah...cumelkan..

hari in bgn pepgi dok sibuk wat preparation utk presentation element logistics ari senin nnti.
dok janji nak bg keje tu kat shafiq groupmate aku..dia nak kena wat presentation slide sume..
adoi pgi ni mmg penat kul 11 lbi mcm tu pgi berebut dgn dak senior nak basuh bju pakai washing machine. nasib aku mmg baik ade washing machine yg kosong.. yes! pastu naik bilik dok wat keje smpi kul bpe aku settle sume keja .. aku pg yunaikan janji dgn dak bilik nak ikut diaorg pgbeli barang2 keperluan harian kat pekan masai.... jeng..jeng..jeng.. aku kena naik bus for the first time utk pg pekan.. hahah gler lawak tunggu bus jea dai pukul 4.44-6.00 baru kami dapat naik bus.. waaa... blum smpi pekan masai kami dah letih gler ..si edy siap tdo lagi dalam bus.. pukul 645 baru kami sampi kat depan  tesco bandar seri alam,masai.. gler letih..tgk2 si penghulu azhar dah tunggu kat tesco sbb nak bg kami pakai kereta dia..t erpaksa la aku hantar azhar blik mitec dulu.. baru la boleh bershopping..tapi nasib baik la azhar bg pinjam keta.. kalo x jenuh kami nak bawak balik barang yg kami shopping.... jd shopping punya shopping smpi lupa yg kami ade usra kul 11 mlm.. trun rush balik mitec.. otw blik rasa happy sgt coz bile tanya kat budak bilik happy x kuar hari ni..semua jawab dgn serentak"seronok"!!!
smpi kat mitec pg mandi dan bersiap2 utk join USRA...best gak walaupon x ramai tp best.. nidah ade kat bilik dok post blog baru.. ni jea yg mmpu aku tulis.. nak tdo la.. daaa...

testing....testing

hye... akhirnya hari ni aku dah buat blog atas permintaan adikku ayeem tazli..
ayeem puas hati.. nnti aku blajar mcm mane nak decorate blog ni..