16th august 2000 - feeling so lost

Feeling so lost and all alone
I want to bury all the memories
Leave no trace that you ever existed
Maybe then I could sleep at night
Maybe then my eyes will be free…
From all the tears
Don’t want to have to drag this pain with me
Everywhere I go …
I want to be normal again
But everywhere I look is a reminder of you
Of us, of everything we shared.
Why can’t I let you go?
Let your spirit rein
Why cant I smile in reminisce
The scar is too deep
And the emptiness makes me cold
I to feel like I have gone…
Into another world
A world where happiness
Is an obstacle
Laughter a challenge
And complete is almost impossible…
If only I could go on without the thought of you…
Maybe then ill feel what peace is like again!

I always fall for the wrong guy , and keep getting heart broken in the end...

Here I go doing the same mistake...
What’s happening to me for god sake...
It’s so worthless, falling in love again..,
With a person I just met then...
Trying to convince my self that it’s just a flare
For sure not, it’s something I totally can’t bare...
Why him out of all men??
He always makes me laugh and blush,
Uhh!!  get over it girl its just a crush...
Friends told me not to fall,
It’s nothing but a wakeup call
He made me love him so deep
Its a good memory I will always keep..
We're two different climates, no chemistry at all
He doesn’t even answer any of phone calls
No more weakening in the legs when I see you
Backing off is something am planning to do!
You have a life and career to look up to girl...!!
Don’t let this flare give it away..
"It’s a priceless piece of an advice


He didn’t love me as much as I did...so am backing off with my pride.....head up high..

grieving with someone close....

excited sgt blik mitec... blik sini dg azam yg baru..

ni dok pening pk nak add subject.. smpi2 jea mitec ari ahad ari tu mai trus dtg bilik melepaskan rindu dia kat aku

dia x tau aku pown rindu kat dia,amira, fify,edy, aiesah dan ramai lagi..

bila dok mlm2 ni nak update blog x tau kenapa aku jd rindu kat seorg kawan aku ni.. kami dlu rapat..

masa dah lama berlalu dia pown dah x perlukan aku dalam hidup dia.. aku harap dia bahagia dgn idup baru dia..

walau ape pown aku sentiasa igt kenangan manis aku dgn dia.. kami x bergaduh tapi aku yg membawa diri.. 

aku rasa aku yg buat dia hidup dalam kepura-puraan.... kesian kat dia  terpaksa berlakon utk terima aku sebagai kwn padahal dia x lh nak terima aku...

seriously mmg rindu saat berkwn baik dgn dia... 

kadang2 bila teringgat kat kwn lama ni aku menangis sendirian byk sgt kenangan yg kami lalui sesme....

walapun kite dah x berkwn akak doakan awk sentiasa gembira & bahagia disisi org yg berada di sekeliling awk...*****!....

Over For Now

We cannot hold on to our love much longer
For this break has made me stronger
You still hold a special place in my heart
And if ever, you change your mind
I will always be waiting for you
I try to hide my pain
Behind this fake painted smile
No one can see past it
Except for you and your friendship
I must accept it
Friends are all we are going to be
For now, we'll see
But if it's meant to be
God will take care of everything
It's not in our hands anymore
He will make the final call
If we are meant to be
He will be the one to choose
He will lead us back to each other
I pray and I hope
We are meant to be.
Because I can't live without you
You are the one for me. 

salam hye..
minggu ni minggu paling busy sekali..
assignment, quiz ,test sume nak kena siap kan... stress tahap melampau dgn kafe x bukak waktu malam
terpaksa kirim kat kawan mkn.. itu pown kalo ade org nak kuar..
rindu kat family and friends. nni tgh sibuk wat airport management individual assignment x siap2 lagi,
tgh carik sape stakeholder utk NDIA. x jumpa lagi.. Mog x buat lagi nasib la adik aku sorg ni banyak membantu
kalo x de dia pening aku.. airport assignment grouping in progress...
mingg ni aku terjumpa kawan kelas aku dia dtg melawat kami yg amik short course ni.... dia kata ni mungkin last kite jumpa..aku jd cuak.. bila dok findout knape rupa2nya dia dah lost hope utk belajar lagi..di sebb kan result dia sem lepas down to drain.. aku x paham kenapa manusia cepat mengalah.. kenapa perlu salah kan takdir kalo diri sendiri x penah cuba utk berusaha.. aku ni umur dah 27 thn tp masih lagi ade semangat nak further study.. aku x nak org kata aku ni buat kerja separuh jalan..aku ade terpikir nak bantu kawan aku tu utk terus berusaha.. tapi aku x tau nak kata ape pada org yg cepat putus asa.. aku harap dia sedar sblum dia menyesal dgn keputusan dia...
kebanyakan org islam ni mudah lupa dgn kejadian diri nya.. lupa yg Allah swt yg menciptanya.. senang nak menyalahkan takdir.. tanpa berfikir panjang terus jea nak salah kan takdir mengucap la wahai kawanku.. mengucap... semoga kau menjadi org islam yg sentiasa bersyukur dgn pemberian Allah swt...

Something that i hate about myself...

I am nowhere near perfect
I eat when i am bored
I fall for boys easily
I'm vulnerable to believing lies
I'm hoping that one day I won't need a fake smile
I make up excuses for everything
I have best friend and enemies
I have drama and memories and that's life
LIVE IT, LOVE IT....LEARN FROM IT..

Where I Stand

I feel trapped in an infinite and bitter cold,
Imprisoned by the pain and lies you've told.
You asked me to forgive you for all that you've done,
But this is the web of betrayal you have spun.



This has taken much time and its breaking my heart,
And Ive concluded were best off apart.
But before i say good-bye and let go,
There are a few things that I want you to know.



I forgive you for all that you've done,
For wrecking my life and stabbing my heart.
For your ill thought and premature misconceptions,
And your abusiveness,rage and crazed obsession.


I do wish you luck and love with someone else,
but before this i hope you once find yourself.

~ shiegin tazli~