I've Been Caught

I've been caught swimming in his eyes again.

Holding my heart so it doesn't break in his presence.
I've been known to have to steady my breathing at his smile,
as my own returns with red cheeks.
As the subject of my never ending sentences, he calls upon pauses that
should not be there.
As my friend, he shares.
His heart cannot mention my name.
While my heart can only scream his.
I've been seen caressing his skin with my gaze.
Memorizing his shape.
I've dream of how his lips round his words.
As I replace friendship with love.
My heart hangs heavy when I hear his voice.
My pulse races with his scent.
As he walks past, her on his arm.
Unlike any of the others, he kills me and keeps me alive.

Will You Just Let Me Be!

For each step I take 
I will think of you
after all your just the dirt
grinding up in my shoe.

How much I hate you now
for all the things you done
for you could never know
because I hate you a ton.

You make my heart bleed
every time I see your face
and my fist tighten
when I think of this waste.

Rage fills my soul
every time I hear your name
anger fills my mind
knowing nothing can be the same.

I'm still building back up 
after you tore off all ties
but I tell you it is for the better
because I'm sick of your stupid lies.

Pity yourself all you want
I don't care anymore
but I tell you time heals all wounds
and complaining is becoming a bore.

Your not fooling anyone 
when you come to school with your stupid smile
we all can see you're faking
because time takes awhile.

Why do you expect everyone
to look at you as they walk by
your know different then anyone
this is something you don't understand why.

I am not stupid
so quit and leave me alone
quit calling me a stupid b**ch
and live your life on your own.

You are no part of me
your the one that broke all ties
I don't give a damn anymore
I'm sick of you keep saying your goodbyes.

Give up already
because you're really getting me pissed
I don't care what you think of me
so would you learn to let me be.

Stop calling me a b**ch behind my back
your just mad because I now don't want to be your friend
I didn't want to give up but you gave me no choice
so now I gave "the queen her highness" the end.

I'm sick of you
you hurt me more then you think I hurt you
stop blaming me for what has happened
because I'm sick of feeling this pain by the things you say and do.

Why do you even care
can't you just ignore
after all your the one that can't forgive
this is really becoming a bore.

Come up with something new
after all it will just be another lie
but at least you will have something else to do
besides always saying goodbye.

Blah blah
I don't care
will you please just end this now
because I'm sick of you saying I wasn't there.

Stop taking things out on me
this is something you could never see
its the truth though I tell you
so will you just let me be!!

i hate the way ..................

I hate the way you make me cry I hate the way you make me smile I hate the way you look at me I really hate the way you smile I hate the way you like to be quiet I hate the way you talked to me I hate the way you held my hand I hate the way you promised me your heart I hate the way you left and took your heart and mine as well I hate the way I make you cry I hate the way I make you smile I hate the way I look at you I hate the way you smile I hate the way I keep you quiet I hate the way I talked to you I hate the way I held your hand I hate the way I promised you my heart I hate the way I pushed you away I really hate the way I LOVE YOU so much i really really really Hate the way I LOVE YOU

Am I Jealous..???

I have feelings for you its true
Though we both agree
They will never be love

We travel our separate paths
Meeting when we feel a need
So why does your seeking of others
Create this confusion in me
Am I jealous

This relationship has no ground rules
That can be applied in our situation
We don't have a need for trust
Who you see when its not me
Should not bother me
But it does
Am I jealous

Maybe its not jealousy
But more the feeling of impending loss
For soon you will find someone
And then you wont need me again
Someone new will hold you tight
And our paths will no longer cross. 

love someone who love you is the best way...

i'm bored

  I'm bored to death
Can that be even true
Well, I am still alive
I need something to do

I gotta find some intrest
But I don't know what
I can't think of anything
My mind's door is shut 

16th august 2000 - feeling so lost

Feeling so lost and all alone
I want to bury all the memories
Leave no trace that you ever existed
Maybe then I could sleep at night
Maybe then my eyes will be free…
From all the tears
Don’t want to have to drag this pain with me
Everywhere I go …
I want to be normal again
But everywhere I look is a reminder of you
Of us, of everything we shared.
Why can’t I let you go?
Let your spirit rein
Why cant I smile in reminisce
The scar is too deep
And the emptiness makes me cold
I to feel like I have gone…
Into another world
A world where happiness
Is an obstacle
Laughter a challenge
And complete is almost impossible…
If only I could go on without the thought of you…
Maybe then ill feel what peace is like again!